last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking
I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else
my girlfriend wanted more than the amount of children you can adopt in skyrim so she taught herself how to mod it so that you could adopt them all, and uploaded it to a skyrim modding community so other likeminded player could utilize her code.
months later, an update was added to skyrim that was basically her code, verbatim, lifted directly from the mod, without credit or even permission. this made her so angry that she, at age seventeen, booked a flight to maryland, went to bethesda headquarters and demanded to see todd himself to yell at him.
of course, she was immediately denied this request and escorted out of the building because she was a scary six foot seventeen year old canadian lesbian who had flown all the way to yell at a man who probably had no idea her code was stolen, but she is still legitimately, 100% furious with him to this day
instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem
if your stomach’s sensitive because of anxiety, by all means spread out the food you eat over the course of the day instead of having large meals, just don’t…not eat. you will go into hypoglycemic shock and that will suck.
By the way, symptoms include:
Shakiness.
Nervousness or anxiety.
Sweating, chills and clamminess.
Irritability or impatience.
Confusion, including delirium.
Rapid/fast heartbeat.
Lightheadedness or dizziness.
Hunger and nausea.
(because of the nausea, eating might not feel like the thing to do at first. I’d suggest drinking a coke or something.)
I’ve dealt with sugar crashes before and I’ve collapsed and whited out. I’ve had friends do it too. If you think you’re going into hypoglycemic shock, and if there’s anyone else near by, tell them you think it’s happening, even if you’re not prone or it’s never happened before. If your’e alone, make your way slowly to the kitchen/wherever you have food/drinks. The standard rule is to take in 15 oz of a sugary drink (orange juice and soda–not diet–are the best) and wait 15 minutes to see if it’s over, then keep doing that until your sugar is stabilized. Then you can eat. If you think you’re about to collapse, especially if you start to feel dizzy, sit down and lay down or lean against something. Don’t risk injury, it’s better to pass out while you’re laying down than it is to collapse and hurt yourself.
*points at this more educated person*
If you are having trouble eating please keep in mind the BRATY diet. Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast, and (sometimes) Yogurt. These foods have been shown to be harder to throw up. By no means should this be the primary diet, but this can assist in the between times when it’s harder to keep things down.
this was really helpful
As someone who has a super nervous stomach this is super useful!!
This is all also extremely good advice in preventing/coping with stomach ulcers FYI
Imo the “bad boy who’s only nice secretly/after you get through his layers” trope in media functions as propaganda designed to get you to second guess yourself and your experiences in order to give bad men a chance. Some things need to be taken at face value and if he treats people like shit he is in fact a bad person even if he’s nice to you sometimes. Stop looking for hidden meaning and depth in his actions. He’s not misunderstood he’s just an asshole and it’s not your job to shovel through the shit to get to the disappointing “good” parts
